For some reason, the east bay doesn’t do autumn really well. It feels like around September, it overdoes one final push of heat, and then suddenly realizes that it’s late— winter was supposed to begin arriving already.
Yesterday was a beautiful day, the kind where the sky is this special shade of blue that brings out the color in the grass and the brick buildings around campus. And you could tell that the weather has started having its little identity crisis. The day was warm, but these icy clouds kept floating on by above us, and you could feel the drafts from the cold rain they kept inside themselves as they moved away.
I don’t know if it’ll work or even continue, but I’ve decided to do a weekly update post, just to summarize all the different things I inevitably veer off into over 7-10 days. This week’s has
my DIY camera
managing too many interests
my first time performing in a band
and then a song I’ve been obsessed with that everyone should listen to
Here’s some things that have been on my mind lately:
My DIY camera
Over summer, I made myself a camera from scratch. I overcomplicated it for myself though, because by the end of summer I had flash and a speaker on a custom soldered board too. But when something went wrong, I didn’t know if it was the computer board, the electronic component, the code, the wiring, or the battery.
And when I returned from summer, I had an issue. The flash and speaker kept being spotty, and the camera had simply… stopped working. And so after two weeks of pain, I decided to cut the gordian knot and just remove them.
I decided to use it for what it was meant for- taking photos. The plan is to use the notes I’m learning from actually using it a lot to update the design into something more beautiful than the plastic box it is now. Here’s some photos I liked a lot:
Managing too many interests
Also I got back to tweeting. Here’s one that popped off this week:
This is something that’s been on my mind a lot lately. How can I possibly do all these things and actually be good at them? What I’ll be trying to do is:
document more: that’s also what this post is. If I do so much, I might as well leave a paper trail. I think that’ll also help me manage it in my head, because sometimes I get confused about what I even like to do because I switch so much.
more self contained projects: I need to ship more tiny, and potentially more shitty things. This has a side effect of letting the good ideas shine faster, so I know what to devote more time on. For example, writing longer form tweets is a good way to do this.
accept the scale of interests: A bad habit I have is thinking every interest needs to be The Thing™️. Somehow The Thing™️ means it being commercialized and my main thing in some way. If I’m working on the camera, I’m thinking about how I can make a 100 of them and market them. If I’m thinking about youtube, I’m thinking about how to make videos in a way that might go viral, even though in the end the ones I make and like to make are always more personal. So it’s okay for something to be a side hobby. Which also means it’s okay for things to seem externally shitty. What’s not okay is overstressing about making everything, which leads me to make nothing. Gotta unclench.
My little musical breakthrough
The first time I 100% enjoyed performing music was this week. But first, context- I was a classic asian kid who learnt piano growing up. I had to do the occasional piano performance every year or two, and I absolutely hated them.
I was never really very good- mainly because I just couldn’t get myself to practice section by section- I’d always just messily jump into the piece whenever I did it. But then I was also terrified of recitals. Before walking on stage, I’d often feel like throwing up. I remember times I was up there and could barely feel my hands. It was the entirely silent room, the judging, discerning ears listening to every note, the fact that so many parents had little asian prodigy kids who were almost certainly more disciplined about it than me.
And I went to a high school that had some very musically talented students. So all of this eventually grew into a huge fear of performance. But then I came to Berkeley, and I saw people play in bands live, and there was something about it that I couldn’t escape.
It was just the sheer joy in the music- it didn’t matter how technically great it was, it didn’t matter if any individual made a mistake or two. It was about the enthusiasm, about sharing music and joy and emotion. But for two whole years that I’ve been here, I haven’t had the guts to join a band, even though I really, really wanted to.
And then out of the blue, some guys from my frat started one, and they needed a keyboardist, and within a week, I found myself with my background yearning to play music live to actually playing in front of like, a hundred people. Crazy how suddenly dreams can just materialise.
It was everything I thought it’d be. I suppose it’s not that deep, but there’s something that feels more viscerally human when you’re sharing music live with other people in front of you.
A great song
Just about everyone can recognize the beat of “My Name Is” by Eminem. What a lot of people don’t know is that it was sampled from this deliciously funky, slow burn, beauty of a song. It’a long one, that takes a while to get to the beat by today’s standards, but I’d recommend giving it a listen 😎
Other quick links:
I made a cellular automata generator when I was bored in class
An explainer on markov’s inequality I wrote to understand it better myself
I think a theme from this week is that college is about saying yes. At least, it doesn’t feel like the time to say no has arrived yet.
I got the blues, but I don’t mind
All I have to do is get to you and then I feel just fine
— I got the, by Labi Siffre (LISTEN TO IT IT’S SO GOOD)
It’s all about finding that thing. I think for me it’s just making things.
I think a good way to live is to constantly ask yourself- what can I do now that I couldn’t do otherwise. On the scale of minutes, hours, days, months, years. And I can’t be nuts and perform at a band and then go on a 24 hour roadtrip with friends and then cram for a computer architecture midterm in a span of 3 days anywhere or anytime else.
Cya in the next one,
Sarv
Not sure how I reached here but really fascinating journey it sounds like.
I wanted to request if you could write bit more on books you’re reading and if possible expand on how did you manage to “start enjoying studying Maths” and where did you start.
Also the emerging thought process as you dwell further into all of this.
I understand it’s a lot but as a reader I think this insight might help you.